Spike: "We like to talk big... vampires do. "I'm going to destroy the world." That's just tough-guy talk. Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood. The truth is, I LIKE this world. You've got...dog racing, Manchester United. And you've got people. Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision. With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off. Good-bye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester-bloody-Square."

Spike: "It's paradise. Big windows, lovely gardens. It'll be perfect when we want the sunlight to kill us."

Spike: "Our man Angel here likes to talk, but he's not much for action. All hat and no cat."

Spike: (Says to Angel) "Are you insane? We're supposed to kill the bitch, not leave gag gifts in her friends' beds."

Spike: "If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus. This new improved one is not playing with a full sack."

Angel: "Dear Buffy. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my regards."

Spike: "Why don't you rip her lungs out? That might make an impression."

Angel: "Lacks...poetry."

Spike: "It doesn't have to. What rhymes with 'lungs'?

Spike:(He grabs Dru and holds her when she tries to help Angel fight Buffy) "Uh-uh, no fair going into the ring unless he tags you first."

Spike: "I don't want to hurt you, baby. Doesn't mean I won't."

Spike: "Watch your mouth, little girl. You should know better than to tempt the fates that way. 'Cause the big bad is back, and this time, it's--" (zap!)

Spike: "And, uh, 'they' are? The government? Nazis? A major cosmetics company?"

Harmony: "Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?"

Spike: "No."

Harmony: "Oh. Can I make him a vampire?"

Spike: "No. Wait. On second thought, yeah. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids as well."

Harmony: "You love that tunnel more than me."

Spike: "I love syphilis more than you."

Spike: "Listen to me, you stupid bint. This gem is everything. I came back to Sunnydale for it, a place which has witnessed some truly spectacular kicking's of my ass."

Spike: "The gem of Amarra. Official sponsor of my killing you."

Spike: "Oh, do it again. It tickles. You know, in a good way."

Willow: "I'll scream."

Spike: "Bonus."

Spike: "Help me. (Buffy pushes him out into the daylight) What part of 'help me' do you not understand?"

Buffy: "The part where I help you."

Spike: "Come on, I'm parboiling out here."

Buffy: "Want me to help make it quicker?" (shows him a stake)

Spike: "Invite me in!"

Buffy: "No."

Giles: "Very unlikely."

Spike: "Willow, tell 'em what I did."

Willow: "You said you were gonna kill me, then Buffy."

Spike: "Yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part where I couldn't bite you."

Spike: "I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn't chase the other puppies any more."

Spike: "Bloody hell, woman. You're cuttin' off my circulation."

Buffy: "You don't have any circulation."

Spike: "Well, it pinches."

Spike: "I came to you in friendship. Well, all right, seething hatred..."

Buffy: "So. You saw their faces, but you can't describe them."

Spike: "Well, they were human. Two eyes each, kind of in the middle."

Spike: "I'm trying to remember. It was very traumatic."

Buffy: "How long are you gonna pull this crap?"

Spike: "How long am I gonna live once I tell you?"

Giles: "Spike, we have no intention of killing a harmless, um, creature."

Giles: "We can't let you go until we're sure that you're impotent or-"

Spike: "Hey!"

Giles: "Sorry, poor choice of words. Until we know that you're..."

Buffy: "Flaccid?"

Spike: "You are one step away, missy!"

Buffy: "Giles, help! He's gonna scold me."

Buffy: "Maybe we made it a little too comfy in here for you."

Spike: "Comfy? I'm chained in a bathtub, drinking pigs blood from a novelty mug. Doesn't rate huge in the Zagat's guide."

Buffy: "Oh, look at my poor neck... all bare and tender and exposed. All that blood, just pumping away."

Giles: "Oh, please."

Spike: "Giles, make her stop!"

Giles: "If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand."

Buffy: "There's so much to decide. Ceremony, guests, reception..."

Spike: "Well, first thing, I'd say we're not having a church wedding."

Buffy: "How about a daytime ceremony, in the park?"

Spike: "Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with the big pile of dust."

Buffy: "Under the trees. Indirect sunlight only."

Spike: "A warm spring breeze tosses the leaves aside, and again, you're registering as Mr. & Mrs. Big-Pile-of-Dust."

Buffy: "Stop it! This is our wedding, and you're treating it like a big joke."

Spike: "Oh, pouty. Look at that lip. Gonna get it. Gonna... get it."

Spike: "Don't I get a cookie?"

Buffy: "No."

Spike: "Well, I gotta have something. I still have Buffy taste in my mouth."

Buffy: "You're a pig, Spike."

Spike: "Yeah, well, I'm not the one who wanted "Wind Beneath My Wings" for the first dance."

Willow: "Did I mention about the sorry part?"

Buffy: "We may be into a forgetting spell later."

Spike: "Like I'd bite you, anyway."

Xander: "Oh, you would."

Spike: "Not bloody likely."

Xander: "I happen to be very bitable, pal. I'm moist and delicious."

Spike: "All right, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat."

Xander: "And don't you forget it."

Spike: "I look like a plumber to you?"

Xander: "No. You look like a big mooch who doesn't lift a finger around here. But I have to get to work."

Spike: "Yeah, delivering melted cheese on bread. Doing your part to keep America constipated."

Spike: "I mean, am I even remotely scary anymore? Tell me the truth."

Willow: "Well, the shirt is kinda... not very threatening. And the short pants... But, you know, it could also be 'cause I know you can't bite. Which I guess isn't what you really need to hear right now..."

Xander: "Think of the happy. If we don't find what we're looking for, we're facing an apocalypse."

Spike: "Really? You're not just saying that?" (Perks up!)

Spike: "That's right! I'm back, and I'm a bloody animal! Yeah!"

Spike: "What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot? It's not very industrious of you. I say, we go out there, and kick a little demon ass. What, can't go without your Buffy? Is that it? Too chicken? Let's find her. She is the Chosen One, after all. Come on! Vampires! Grrr! Nasty. Let's annihilate them. For justice, and for the safety of puppies, and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil. Let's kill something. Oh, come on!"

Spike: "And you're what, shocked and disappointed? I'm evil."

Spike: "I don't know. Maybe a crypt. Someplace, you know, dark and dank. But not as dark and dank as this."

Spike: "I've known corpses with a fresher smell. In fact, I've been one."

Spike: "Well, what do I spy with my little eye? A demon. That would be - oh, right - the things I can kill."

Spike: "And I'm supposed to just help you out of the evilness of my heart?"

Giles: "You help me, and I- I don't kill you."

Spike: "Oh, tremendously convincing. Try it again without the stutter."

Spike: "I don't care if it's playing "Rockin' the Casbah" on the bloody Jew's Harp, just get it out of me!"

Spike: "Hey! What am I, a bleeding broken record? I'm bad. It's just... I can't bite anymore. Thanks to you wankers."

Riley: "What's he doing here?"

Spike: "Leaving you swabs to your dramatics, thanks. I've got my stories on the telly for that."

Spike: "By the by, if you're trying to kill her..." (big smile, thumbs-up gesture)